How to help patients?

 

When he gets sick any member of the family, in the process of dealing with the new situation occurs and intertwine different emotions that affect all members and can cause the previous relationship. 

  What happens in the family? 

A family member who is ill for a long time, changes its position until then ineradicable. His role is replaced with a new, usually more dependent role. Other family members are faced with the task to also change their roles with the aim of helping far more dependent member. Occasionally the central role of the family or some of its functions (eg. Role of father or mother) because of illness to be partially or completely shifted to another member. In this way, changing family relationships, habits and common "rituals". In the chronic disease can lead to permanent changes in family relationships. 

As the patient must undergo a process of acceptance of the disease, and the family is going phase process of acceptance of the illness of its members. Initially can dominate negation, then the family members go through a depressive phase to finally achieve a new quality of relations. Family changes the way of Communication - in physical illness necessarily occurs and "body language" that can interfere with proper sharing feelings. Depending on prior relationships of family members, especially if they are ambivalent Cracks, in a situation where one member is ill on the surface can get some misfits forms of relationships and communication, in which the substrate can be placed guilt, the need for dominance and power, download the role of the victim and the like. both patients and some of his family members. In diseases mothers network of relationships essential changes - other members take on some duties of the mother, the child can be reactivated fear of separation (separation), but also a sense of guilt. As the mother of one of the most important providers of empathy in the family, such a change often leads to poor family functioning, especially if the environment is not able to take part empatizirajućih, to support plans is the role. Parent represents a model for the identification of a child of the same sex. Identification is required for acceptance of their own gender roles during development. If, however, a sick child, greater attention is paid to the child, while the healthy children are expected concessions, and to redeploy roles - all the "hope of the family" can be projected to another healthy baby. There is the possibility of activation of guilt at his mother's parents or any of the brothers, especially if there is a "prehistory" of such a feeling of guilt (unplanned child, expectations of a diet that had existed before the child is ill). As far as partners are concerned, the partner is the person you are, typically, we spend the greatest number of years of your life. Partners are expected to be a friend, lover, support. 

To become his carer and connection with others. When the same feel as the need and duty, despite accepting and another offered to help him cope with future difficulties. Through conversation bring some decisions that need to be flexible, not only related to the disease and the organization of treatment but also the important decisions for the family as a whole, especially for the children's future. The question may come and sexual relations that are commonly violated in the case of illness, which can further damage the partnership. Conversation and sharing affection can improve the relationship and open the way for understanding. Illness parent means a loss of support and the support and role reversals, where the children take on "central" role. This process is not easy because the child is expected that the parent is all-powerful and that nothing can happen. Therefore, as a first reaction to the disease occurs negation parents and anger. It is important to know what kind of disease does, to anticipate what imminent and adequate its planning. Raises many issues related to the care of a parent, doctor visits, purchase of supplies and the like. Often you will do (as a child, even if you are an adult) that you are alone and you do not know how you all alone, as well as how to deal with the fact that might be nearing the end of life your parents. It is necessary to surround the loved ones, on which you can rely on for help. It is important to talk with a sick parent, understand it, know how it feels and what she wants to help him get through the upcoming period. When one parent is sick, it should be borne in mind that the child is difficult to understand what the disease is. It may feel wrong because he can not help, do not know how to act, what to say, do it. Do not force him to do something he does not want, but be sure to turn it into an activity that is ready and which has a capacity. Visit the hospital should be short. There may also be some unpleasant reactions, mostly because children are honest, ask direct questions for which we are not ready. It would be advisable to inform the school, and also book time off to spend with their children. In case of loss of a parent, it is necessary that a parent stays with the child, share the sadness with your child. Do not be afraid of memories and you should always try to find time for a child. And illness of a sibling can have a significant impact on you because you have shared past, no matter what your relations at the appearance of the disease. If you have some unresolved emotions were pushed by incentives, the disease could reach their reactivation, which could result in a change in behavior towards a sick brother or sister. Their relationship to disease reflects their previous relationship and can manifest jealousy, envy, love, addiction, replenishment, etc.. 

The patient needs the support of its environment for coping and dealing with problems related to the disease and treatment. To create the effect of social and emotional support necessary to establish communication. 

It is important for the person to actively participate in treatment. She is an active member of the team, along with doctors and medical staff. How could it be an active participant in treatment, should learn about their disease, ask your doctor everything she vaguely so it will be able to participate in decision-making together with your doctor. 

   • make decisions impulsively, without enough knowledge and information about the disease 

   • let your doctor to make decisions that are not clear because you do not want to take responsibility 

   • expect that people tell you what to do 

What disease is more severe, as the treatment of invasive, more demanding and longer, your cooperation is important. 

Learn about your condition and the treatment options, give your doctor information about yourself, ask questions and carefully listen to the answers, participate in decisions, let your decisions be clear. It is important to feel free to communicate with your doctor and nurses. They can give you answers to your questions, they give you support in your efforts during treatment. But it is not easy to feel free to communicate. It is known that patients are reluctant to ask for a variety of reasons - to see that physicians are too busy to have time and they do not want to bother you or they fear that they do not ask "stupid question." 

It distracts them in open communication with the medical particu- bljem. Here's a quick recommendation to tear down some of the barriers that patients often are: 

   • "The doctors and nurses use words you do not understand." It's possible that you do not understand everything that is interpreted by a doctor. 

So, without hesitation, ask the doctor to explain to you what you did not understand. 

   • "When my doctor gives instructions it seems clear, but the house forget everything." Amount of new information that you receive is great, so it is possible to be more or less confused and can not seem to remember all. If this happens, it is advisable that you tell your doctor. 

To write down important information that you send. Some patients helps to learn about the disease - you can write down important information was. In the conversation with the doctor can come alone or with one of the people close. 

"Discourages me in the crowded waiting room. Perhaps other people more needed help more than I do. "Doctors will try to hear your questions and answer them. 

Make an appointment with your doctor to talk, do not "catch down the hall." 

It is good to prepare for an interview with a doctor - before write down the questions you're very important. 

It is desirable that the conversation with the doctor you bring someone close to you trust (friend, family member). It can remind you ask questions that bother you, and help you to remember after the interview what the doctor said. 

Close person can help you in making a decision. It will be better informed if she was with you to the doctor and directly hear his opinion and advice. 

   • "I do not know who put the question?" Malignant diseases are very complex. To many people, probably, a lot of the new and unknown. You may feel confused and do not know how to ask the doctor a question about anything, or you have so many questions that you do not know what to ask or order. 

   • To help us organize and arrange thoughts, compose and write a list of questions. Take the time to repeatedly review. You will find questions that immediately see that they are not in the doctors, but the matter of the family. You may find more of the same questions, just said something different words. Summarize the list and bring it to talk to your doctor. 

   • Ask your doctor to review your list of questions and answer to those who are important. • If you feel that the doctor did not understand your concern, bring the issue again at the next meeting. 

   • "I believe that the doctor knows best." Some people believe that a doctor should be left to decide on the care and treatment and that nothing about it should know. Then they were deprived of any liability. They are passive, responsible doctor. 

   • Remember that you are an important member of the team in the treatment of their disease. Ask questions and learn about your treatment, sickness and health. So you will be able to cooperate, because the situation will be clearer. You will be motivated and will become an active participant in your treatment. 

   • Doctor's role is to help their expertise to provide information about the possibilities and modalities, advantages and disadvantages. Your role is to decide and choose the best option for you. 

Express feelings and communicate with loved ones can help, useful and beneficial for you and your loved ones. 

How to tell family and friends that we have a malignancy? 

• Tell loved ones for their diagnosis as soon as you feel that you can 

• It is important that you communicate to close friends and family about what is going on. And they have to learn the situation to you - their loved one, you have a malignancy. It will hurt and you will feel the push and left out if they do not say. 

• Explain what kind of disease you have, which are necessary procedures for the treatment and diagnosis of cancer that does not automatically fatal. 

• Explain that cancer is not contagious. 

• Ask them how they feel and try to answer their questions. It is often easier to express emotions tions than they conceal. • It is normal to worry, you're wondering "Why me?" You're sad. These feelings are normal and change as time passes. Explain it to them. 

• it is good to be direct with others in expressing needs and feelings. 

• Tell people carefully, you sometimes will not talk to you now do not feel the need for it. Close person will figure it out. 

• Can you happen to get advice: "You'll be all right, cheer up, smile." If you are bothered by such advice, feel free to tell loved ones that you need to listen to you, without you having to share tips. 

• it is good that it is not open to everyone 

• If the family does not usually talk about some intimate personal matters, it's okay if you do not open fully. In its immediate environs often we have people who do not feel really close. Select the person to whom you can confide. You do not need anyone. 

• Expect that you may be the target of anger, but it is not you who are to blame. Anger is sometimes the first way of expressing fear. 

• Tell your friends and family how you can help 

• Your role will be in the family change while you are focused on the treatment. You probably will not be able to perform all the jobs you have ever done. Let your friends and family to help you, but be precise and clear about the kind of assistance you need. 

• As much as possible, try to keep a sense of normal, ordinary life in the family while you are in the process of treatment. If you emphasize that it is important to place a routine procedure, your 

family will then try to place the usual activities (wife of sports, hanging out with friends, spouse, children's sports activities, language learning, games) without feelings of guilt nonexistence. 

Many patients turn helps the association for patients suffering from malignant diseases. These associations are very successful in mutual support and practical advice. 

• To ignore or reject attempts friend or family member to talk openly with you. 

• suppress and ignore your own need to talk to someone. 

• Simulate joy when you do not feel so. The problem is, your callers if you can not handle your true emotions (the capacity to listen, which is a participant depends whether he could "take" your true emotions). 

And not so long ago people were often tried to keep the diagnosis of malignancy in secret, which only makes it difficult coping with the disease. Today we know that it is impossible to keep secret the existence and treatment of malignant disease, even in front of children. It is important for parents to share information about it in a way that allows the child to understand and to feel included. Parents should prepare the child for the imminent changes in the family, there is no place dilemma. 

Why should not keep a secret? 

   • Parents who sought at the beginning of the disease to spare the children from the truth, in the latter way, when aspects of the disease become apparent, Zaza which were open from the beginning and gradually involving a child. 

   • When a family decides to hide information from the child, the child is confused because she feels the stress and tension of events, and did not know what was happening. Sooner or later begins to suspect that something is hiding from him. Children "overhear" anything from the conversation of adults. In such situations will not understand it properly, and you will hear things that are "not for them" or imposed in an inappropriate manner. 

   • It is normal for younger children egocentric thinking. This means that you see the world only in relation to himself. In this period of development is common that the child thinks that what wrong, something is said or done, the disease his parents. Then it is necessary to reassure the child and teach him what it was malignant disease. 

   • If children do not get mitigated and accessible explanation of the situation, they will themselves run disturbing, false conclusions. 

Reaction of the disturbing news depends largely on how it will show adults. 

• Wait until you pass the first wave of the strongest emotions and then communicate the children. 

• Children need to talk about the subject of malignant disease (cancer) in a manner that was common in dotadaš- her communication. In this way, understand and feel that family support and to impart protection and care to count. They should be encouraged to talk about their feelings. 

• Cancer is usually unknown term for a child. Children absorb information and ideas from other children, from everyday life, from television ... Without proper information, their "gaps" shall be filled with imagination. Sometimes it's what you make up far worse than the reality. 

• Both children and adults, and can also learn to deal with malignant disease and its treatment. When you talk to children about malignant disease, you need to give them a simple, accurate information that they can understand. 

• It is preferable to say simple, basic words (which the child knows and uses) a small amount of information at a time. Then they should be allowed time to understand the information and an opportunity to ask. 

• Ask them words they did not understand and that it is the word scared. Encourage them to express their feelings and see them in your speech. Many children express feelings easiest to play with dolls or painting. 

• For an older child the word cancer can cause fear, so be prepared to show understanding and give explanations. Emphasize the positive steps that physicians will take to treat your illness 

. • Do not race very young children with too much information. 

• The child should explain the situation in a few sentences: "My doctor said I had a disease called cancer. Doctor will heal me. I'll have plenty of time to get a doctor to the hospital to give me special medication, and then I can not be with you. Which way will we be poor or bad I feel, so I will not be able to play with you or go to the park. It is important to know that I love and that I love you and think of you when I'm in the hospital. "

How should know and be able to understand how much depends on their age and maturity. how much information should tell the children? 

   • Age is an important factor. 

• Young children (2-8 yrs.) Do not need very detailed information. Children aged 9 to 12 years. and teenagers need and deserve to know more. 

• You have to find the right balance between too much and too little information. Too much information can be excessive burden on the child. Too little information can induce too many questions and concerns. 

• All children need to know the shape (type) disease, where the cancer is located in the body, what happens during treatment and how it will change their life organizations. 

• Some children may become upset when they are told the diagnosis of malignancy. The other children are behaving as if nothing had happened. 

• Although the response is not visible in the behavior, you can be sure that the news of your diagnosis affected your child. 

• A conversation is usually not sufficient. Do not force a child to talk. Try periodically ponnuditi this topic when the child is accepted, be brief and clear. 

• It is good to share information in small doses and offer explanations that kids can understand, appropriate to their age and maturity. 

• Be sure to give the children a chance to instructions and questions that you have given them intelligible answer. 

• If you feel it is appropriate, you can consult a psychologist for your child. This will enable the child psychological support outside the family. 

What to tell your child about treatment? 

• Children's important to say that the treatment of diseases affect you and what will be their 'everyday lives change during your treatment. 

• If you get information that will change the appearance, for example. Hair loss, be prepared that your kids before it happens. 

• If treatment requires hospitalization, children need to provide accurate information: 

• where they will be and how long 

• what will be done in the hospital • when you can visit or call the telephone 

• Who will take care of them in your absence. 

• Part of the treatment is often performed in a hospital. Young children experiencing difficult separation from parents. They should be helped to withstand the separation. It is essential to them to explain who will be on them for the time to take care of (preferably to be close to them, people). 

• Changes in family and commitment ailing parents, and other adults for treatment and visits to the hospital, the child may, if he does not give a true and accurate information, to understand and feel as neglect, rejection or punishment. 

  • If a person is suffering from malignant disease feels that he can not tell your child about his illness, so be it close friend. 

• Do not therefore feel "bad parent." On the contrary, you generously allow the child to gain information on more appropriate, less stressful way. 

53 

how to communicate with a sick child? If your child is sick, there are turbulent emotions - because of the need to protect it. There is a sense of responsibility while simultaneously feeling of helplessness and guilt. To adapt and meet with the disease, you will need time, and more time will be needed to at least partially agree. Try to live as far as possible, takes place normally, make plans not only for the sick child, but also for other family members. Fear of death is always present. 

• Children younger than 5 years, it is important that parents are with them, they do not understand what the meaning of death and therefore they have not been occupied. 

• Children from 6 to 10 years old shall not yet firmly built attitude about his future, but realize that this is something final and react strongly to the limitations imposed by their disease. 

• Adolescents are outraged, they realize their limitation, the loss of various options and complain for it, refuse treatment, they do not accept tips. It is necessary to choose the right moment to talk about important things, for which it is best to be brief but multiple times, with clear, short sentences, as it allows the children's attention. Be sure to check how much and how child understand. If a child loses his battle with the disease in all its sadness do not over-idealize, do not be too articulate for his stuff. With other children show your sadness limited, honestly talk to them. 

The phrase "Forever is asleep." Is not good because there is a possibility that the child is afraid, and to report problems related to falling asleep and prosnivanje.